PROZAC because sometimes I feel like a nut...

I recently had someone tell me that they didn't understand how people can suffer from depression.  I guess you don't understand it unless it affects you or someone close to you.  What I didn't realize about depression is that I didn't know I was depressed until someone pointed it out to me.  When you have had thoughts about suicide since you were 11 years old you don't realize that it's not normal and not everyone has those thoughts, you thinks it's normal.  I had a happy childhood and I didn't spend time alone in self-pity, I was active and people didn't know I was depressed from looking at me, I didn't share my thoughts of suicide with anyone it was just always in the back of mind.  The depression worsened as I got older and the thoughts became darker, my personality changed.  I was 26 when I mentioned to a close friend, who also has depression and anxiety, that I wish I could hold a gun, I didn't think I would use it, I just wanted to see what it felt like in my hands.  She immediately called her doctor and made an appointment for me.  I have been on medication ever since. I know some people think it is a shameful thing to have to take meds for depression , not me, if that one pill will keep the dark thoughts away, bring on the meds.